Matt Morrell

Matt Morrell
The Reason I Am Doing This

Monday, December 7, 2009

Spirit cape and broken spirit

Ironically, I posted on Facebook about how it should be illegal to have to wake up at 6am on a weekend day. I got to training a couple minutes late - just as we were talking about the "spirit cape". I didn't know what it was - other than a goofy looking cape, but I was guessing that it would be given to someone that did something really cool. I always see stuff like that and think how nice it would be to win something like that, but it usually goes to someone who saved 1000 puppies while ending world hunger. So, the community captain starts reading off things that the person did to earn the cape and I start to realize that it sounds a lot like me! Sure enough - I end up winning the Spirit Cape! It was a huge boost to my morale.

Then we start running 800m repeats. My ankle, which was bothering me before but was feeling fine that morning, starts to hurt. It gets worse and worse and worse. I am about to stop doing the workout when it gets called short anyway. I guess I was saved by the bell. I know I am going to have to take a month or so off from running. While I don't love running, I feel like I am letting my team, honorees, and donors down.

We go to the swim and I do OK - another modest improvement, but the seem to cumulate. I had glimpses of what it would be like to be a good swimmer. There were moments that it felt so easy to glide through the water. It was really nice! It gives me something to look forward to.

After that we sat and learned about an honoree that had just died. There were a lot of really sad people. I also learned that TNT does more than just fund blood cancer research - that research is used across the different cancers. I learned about other folks that had been lost and about how much the diseases have impacted each person on the team. I feel great to be part of something like this. It hammered home my belief that people aren't supporting me - they are supporting people that really need it. Still, I left with a tremendous sadness. I want to learn more about the honorees and get to know them.

1 comment:

  1. First of all, coming from someone who also felt she had 'broken spirit syndrome' this past weekend for other reasons ~ let me be the first to say that you not running or taking some time off to recover is in NO way letting your Team or Honorees down. You're doing what's smart and safe for your body, and you're ensuring that you come back on the track (or trail) healthy, strong and ready to rock your race and the training leading up to it. Secondly, yes, we will have our down days. Particularly while working with a charity and group of people as vast as it is, and as closely in touch with patients who suffer greatly -- but also FIGHT 1000x as hard. When you feel sad or disheartened, know how much of a HERO you are for doing what you're doing. Staying persistent with your training AND your fundraising. Keep at it and know that's what we're all here for ~ to support one another, and our Honorees! And we're in luck... POTluck that is! This weekend we get to chill with some of our Honorees after our training :) So chin up, Will/Brian. There's lots of good stuff this week!

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